The Boomers Have Discovered Ring Fit Adventure, and Invented Some Incredible New Game Systems in the Process

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When Nintendo unveiled Ring Fit Adventure, I said, “Well, that’s cute, but who’s going to be interested in it?” That’s a new entry for my Compilation of Stupid Questions, because if the Amazon page for Ring Fit Adventure is any indication, the answer is “Everyone who made Wii Fit part of their exercise routine in 2008.”

It’s no secret the Wii sold exceptionally well, but had a dismal attach rate. Older folks who don’t game much picked the system up for Wii Sports and Wii Fit, and they were set for games after that. But even though most of the world’s populace has banished their Wii Balance Boards to the dusty void underneath the entertainment center, Boomers (and probably a smattering of Gen-X’ers) seemingly never forgot the joy of “fitness gamification.” Having caught wind of Ring Fit Adventure, they have questions they’re hoping can be answered on the item’s Amazon page.

Unfortunately, some of these confusing queries are enough to make the Sphinx rub her temples with her big ol’ kitty paws and sigh, “Dude, these questions are just—no. No.”

“Will this game work on my/my grandson’s Wii?” (Variations of “Will this work on the Wii”/”Can I use the Wii Remotes” make up 30% of the questions by volume.)

“Will this game work on my GameCube?” (No, but you can get plenty of exercise if you take a GameCube to a soccer pitch and kick it around.)

“Will this work on my Nintendo Vita?” (Wait-)

“Will this work on my PS4 360 Lite XL?” (WAIT-)

Maybe I shouldn’t make fun of Boomers for not being up to date on the latest video game tech. I mean, all they did was destroy the environment and the job market. I’ll be kind and point out the people who wrote these questions inadvertently created some incredible fantasy game systems. “The PS3 360 Lite XL?” Sure! “The Nintendo Vita?” Hell yes. Hey, we live in a universe where the Nintendo PlayStation exists, even though its name still sounds like a fake every time I hear it. Anything is possible in this reality.

But no matter how familiar you are (or aren’t) with video games, it’s not difficult to understand what Ring Fit Adventure is about. It’s an exercise/adventure game for the Switch that comes with a plastic ring-thing. You strap your Joy-Cons onto the ring and on your leg. Then you get buff with the aid of a dragon who’s obsessed with gains. Easy, right? Yep. It’s also fun. All told, it’s a good addition to Nintendo’s stable of game/fitness Frankenstein monsters.

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